Michael Cheney - behind the I.M. curtain

Ever since someone came up with the bright idea of automatically responding emails people have seized it with open arms.  But remember - if you are setting an "Out of Office" message you might want to take a few pointers from this lot.

Here’s a random selection of emails right from my Inbox (the names have been withheld!):

"Hello,

This is an automated mail, please do not respond to this message. Thank you for visiting our web site. Your enquiry is being processed. Our business development team will get in touch with you shortly."

Hmm.  Strange - I didn’t visit your website, just sent you an email now you’re going to set your ‘business development team’ onto me.  Run to the hills!

"I won’t be checking e-mail during that time, however rest assured that I have received your e-mail and it is safely in my inbox. I’ll get back to you as soon as possible after my return.
If your request is urgent, please resend your email to one of my colleagues.
(name [withheld]): email@[withheld].com
(name [withheld]): [withheld]@[withheld].com"

So wait a minute.  If you’ve gone away why don’t you get your emails forwarded onto your colleagues or at least let them check your Inbox to save me having to resend my emails?

"Thank You for your email that You just sent to me. I usually respond with 24-48 hours. Be sure to check out my web site: www.[withheld].com For the Highest Quality Custom Made [withheld]. My other web site: www.[withheld].com My ebay store, that has other gift ideas."

So you’re away for a couple of days and while I’m waiting for you to reply you want me to check out all your websites?  Interesting concept..

"Thank  you for visiting [withheld]. Your email has been sent and will be answered in the order that it was receieved. I appreciate your patience and understanding. May your days be bright and sunny filled with the freshwind of peace around you. May your nights shine with the twinkle of stars."

Yeah - peace up maan!  But don’t forget to check your spelling though (see receieved)..

"Thank you for your information, our team will be jumping out of bed right now to deal with your inquiry."

What - are they all there together?

And finally..

"If the message you just sent to  [withheld]@[withheld].com was an update/change to your site, please send the message to  [withheld]@[withheld].com to be completed. 

If the message you just sent to  [withheld]@[withheld].com was a support issue such as a problem you are experiencing with the server, please send the message to [withheld]@[withheld].com

Doing this will allow my staff to take care of the matter quicker, help speed the response time to your message and save valuable time.

You may even wish to add  [withheld]@[withheld].com and  [withheld]@[withheld].com to your e-mail address book.

If the message you sent was not related to either of the above, please ignore this auto response message and I will reply as soon as I am able.

Thank you for your cooperation."

Hey - chill out!  I was just trying to email you, I didn’t expect the third degree..